History

It feels so long ago. When I listened to this song, wondering who you were, wondering what triggered your mind and your heart and you imagination. Finding you perfect on paper, thinking that it was in no way possible for you to measure up to my thoughts. And now. We´ll soon be driving really far, miles and miles, across county borders and through toll booths, towards the sun and the dream. Now, we´re booking accommodation with a roof terrace overlooking Florence and we´re giggling as we press the keys. And I feel comfortable when you say: "Nina, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." It does´nt scare me, instead it leaves me a little breathless and flabbergasted and happy. Suddenly I feel ok about all the hardships of life, as long as I know that you are there with me. And, I know now, for sure, that I was right all those months ago. To meet a stranger outside a hotel, to spend a weekend with a him, not really having a clue as to who he would be. I was right to take that leap, not knowing then, that it might be one of the most important things I´d ever do.

Gotye – Somebody That I Used To Know

Éire

The dream may yet be mine. The dream is still vivid, still bright. But, it has blue eyes instead of green, hands that are less broken and a mind not destroyed by circumstance. Dreams: of a rugged, emerald coast -- it still lingers. Of craggy bog lands -- they still draw me in. Majestic hills pull me northwest, always northwest -- towards the Atlantic ocean. Towards towns with twenty inhabitants and a pub. Towards winding roads across desolate moors. Towards singing syllables and intonations and voices. It´s still here. The dream. It´ll always be right here. And so will I.

The Saw Doctors – Green and Red of Mayo

Yes

I´m sorry for having been slightly erratic and moody in the past. You came too soon -- I was busy getting over someone. I´m sorry for not being able to give one hundred percent until now. He left me a little scared and breathless and broken. I´m sorry that it took me so long to let go. It´s just the kind of person I am I guess. And, I´m sorry for not being all there, all in, until now. There was no room for you -- I had to settle things in my head first, I had to know that this was the time for that leap, that you were worth the risk. Because in some ways we´re hard. So much harder than what he and I was -- simply because we are real, simply because we´re equal, because (unlike he and I) we have a future. It´s bright and sparkly. It´s exciting and colorful. It´s also filled with farewells and distance and longing. With tears and travels and homecomings. The world is smaller these days, but not small enough to not consider the circumstances and the facts. I´m here now. So, let´s drive your Jaguar really fast across France. Let´s drink Italian wine and wander the Coliseum. We´ll smoke our last cigarettes under the Tuscan sun and remember the moment forever. I´ll wear my purple dress and granny’s necklace. I´ll chase you with shrimp and tease you about the queen. You’ll give me a kiss on the Spanish steps in Rome and I´ll hold your hand through Venice. Then we´ll drive a million miles and end up having tea with milk on your patio in the heart of England. Let´s not worry about the future. Let´s assume it´s as bright and brilliant as we are. Let´s assume this is as real as it feels. Let´s take our fears and doubts and insecurities, let´s look at them, let’s smile at them, let´s toss them into the air...

and simply just let go.

 Urban Cone – We Should Go To France

Under ytan

I feel strangely listless. I feel sort of as if I am made of glas and I will break at any moment. But most of all I feel drained and tired, like my lustre has vanished -- like plain yoghurt or vanilla ice cream. No colour, no particular taste, just sort of existing without any purpose. All I want to do is lay in your arms. All I want to do is hear you tell me everything will be alright. I want to read books next to you, without having to say much. I want to cook something, anything, without to many words being used. I can´t handle words. Not right now -- they always come in plenty. Right now I feel detached from the world as I know it, and from this moment on things may be forever different, forever changed. What will come, will come.

I don´t know if I´ll ever be ready.

Silent grace

I picked strawberries today. I picked wild raspberries today. And blackcurrant that was just ripe, just so. I got to hang with Piaf and Oscar and Sylvester. I got to pet fur as soft as cotton, as shiny as velvet and I was stared down by three pairs of yellow-shaded eyes. I was on the floor for parts of the day. I was surrounded by tails for parts of the day. All was sleekness and smoothness and elegance. All was gentle paws over wooden floors, a chase for shrimp and silent movements across large distances. And all was grace. Forever grace.

Beethoven – Symphony No 6 In F Op. 68 Pastoral Part 5

Smooth sailing

This life drives my crazy. These circumstances drive me crazy. This summer drives me crazy. I drive myself crazy. These notes, this rythm drives me crazy. That fiddle, that voice, those three, golden Pennsylvania boys: (I used to love a Pennsylvania boy), makes me spin and twist and never seize to move. Transfixed, exilirated and lost, but yet, so very found. These notes. Hyponotized.

The Cave Singers – Gifts and the Raft

Forever it seems.

Simple, yet hard

You cried yesterday. Yet you shone. You were sad yesterday. Yet you were prefect. You had fears yesterday. Yet you sparkled. Your hands trembled slightly: worn out, worked out, and your mind was heavy. You sensed darkness. You sensed danger. You sensed complications. Yet you were the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. You said that things pass, that everything changes and that some things are based in faith. You said that things would be different tomorrow, that the sun would shine once more and that I made you so very happy. Then you smiled through your tears, you cracked a joke and I recognized you again. You made your tea: strong, bittersweet (like me) and I felt whole, I felt safe and exhilarated. I felt happy and scared, somber yet vigorous. And I shone. Just like you. Through space and time and miles and hardship. Because of you, because of me. Because of the fact that I have one heart. And I´m so proud, so grateful, to give it to you.

Peter Gabriel – The Book of Love

Lördagsaktiviteter

Irländsk paddman: Hi, how´s things?
Jag: Fine thanks.
Irländsk paddman: I´m in construction.
Jag: I thought as much.
Irländsk paddman: Why?
Jag: I´ve been here before.
Irländsk paddman: Did you like it?
Jag: No.
Irländsk paddman: Rite...
Jag: So anyway, how do you like Sweden then?
Irländs paddman: (twinkling) Well, it´s grand, especially now that I´ve met you.
Jag: Ok paddy, been there done that, did´nt really like the ride, so why don´t you just go fuck off?
Irländsk paddman: Riteo darlin', but that one must have been quite the story.
Jag: It was.

Dropkick Murphys – The State Of Massachusetts

Hearts

"I´ve waited a long time for you..."

Just so

You´re getting a 90's cut. (Just because you´re a 90's man.)
You´re wearing checkered shirts. (And manage to pull it off.)
You´re tall, dark and your eyes gleam like stars when you look at me.
You drive a Jaguar and have your shit together.
You need no care-taking.
You stand on your own.
You like airplanes and motorcycles and that purple dress of mine.
You do a mean Irish interpretation.
You make me laugh at the drop of a hat.
You hold my hand through all of it.
You have no harness.
No shield.
Only your heart.
And then you have me. 
Yet, I wonder -- where are we going?
Because with you there is an actual tomorrow.
A day after.
And a future.

You

I feel sappy this morning.
I miss you this morning.
I don´t know why you love me so much.
I don´t know if I´m worth it.
I know who I want to be is.

I love you.

The Courteeners – Take Over The World

It´s official (again)

You won. (But you´ll never know it.)
I got in way over my head.
I fell head over heels.
You don´t deserve it.
Who you want to be does.
You helped me change my life.
You showed me a way out.
You took me for a spin.
I crashed.
You broke my heart.
I´ll never be the same again.

Sorry? No, I´ll never be sorry. (Little devil.)

Breabach – Baby Broon's

It´s official

Jag är lite av en galning.
Jag är på upploppet nu.
Jag kommer att behöva flytta norrut.
Jag har tillåtit mig att behandlas ungefär lika väl som en disktrasa. (Av en man som sannerligen inte förtjänade det.)
Jag är kär i en man med blå ögon. (Inte gröna.)
Jag vet inte var jag kommer att befinna mig om ett år.
Jag tar för snabba beslut.
Jag borde (in the words of Sebastian) försöka chilla.
Jag har valt rätt, helt rätt väg.
Jag ska vid något tillfälle söka professionell hjälp. (In the words of Sebastian.)
Jag har alldeles för mycket prylar.
Jag måste börja äta mer frukt. (Fast jag egentligen avskyr frukt.)
Jag tänker sluta vara så förbannat, jävla sentimental.

Jepp, så är det. Så, hallå världen! Och välkommen.

Same, same, but different still

Anneli: Du, din blogg är ganska förvirrande för tillfället...
Jag: Ja?
Anneli: Ja, du verkar svänga en del och jag blir ju lite undrande...
Jag: Det framstår som om jag inte riktigt kan bestämma mig va?!
Anneli: Ja.
Jag: Du blir förvirrad?
Anneli: Ja.
Jag: Welcome to the world as I know it.

I won´t fuck this up, I won´t fuck this up. I won´t fuck this up...osv...

Now

The air reminds me of you. The summer smells that fill it remind me of you. The noises outside my window remind me of you. And the light. The beautiful, frail summer light -- is yours. Just because you never gave too much. But always. Enough.

This one is mine. But also yours. Did I ever say thank you?

Joss Stone – Newborn

Mine

Before I met you. He was my D´artangnan. He descended from half a world away and we read the Tempest and Hamlet and A midsummer night’s dream. Then the days passed and we fell apart, we fell away and broke each other to the core. (I´ve forgiven you now, just because I can.) Before I met you. He was a pathfinder with curly, blonde hair and tattoos in the shape of leaves. His best friend was golden and sparkly and had the longest, fluffiest tail I had ever seen. We walked the streets hand in hand, forever walking, forever in love. His truths are still with me. (I pick them up and look at them sometimes -- they are still true.) Before I met you. He had a steely blue gaze. He was tall and light and had strong hands. He stood by me as my life fell apart, he held my up when I had no strength and he had visions of something better, something bigger than this world. Before I met you. His eyes were green, his mind troubled. He liked Guinness and talked really fast. He wore shirts the colour of fire trucks and he danced when he was happy. Before I met you my heart was broken. These are my ghosts. Let´s make sure you´ll never be one of them.

Laura Marling – Ghosts

Lights

Min sommarnatt doftar körsbärsöl. Min sommarnatt doftar Marlboro lights och vin från en blommig bag in a box. Den doftar gitarrspel och parkhäng och rosfontäner; löften och små hopp och vackra färgglada klänningar. Den är England i gryningen, vackra ögon som ser på mig som om jag var gjord av guld och bilfärder i en silvrig Jaguar. Min sommarnatt spelar ljusa toner. Den väcker mig med fågelkvitter och skirt morgonljus och tutande bilar. Stan är full av liv och allting runt om mig står i sjudande blom. Havet slår in mot en långgrund strand och sanden är varm och vit som pärlemor. Jag förtrollas av dofter, av leende, solvarma ansikten som passerar, av iskall, skär glass och fötter i sommarslitna, lyckliga ballerinaskor. Och jag tänker att här, just här, vill jag stanna kvar en stund.

The Cave Singers – Hen Of The Woods

It´s official

Jag: Vadå?
Fru Rosa: Jamen de är ju lite lika.
Jag: Irish och Pilotboy?
Fru Rosa: Ja
Jag: Men Pilotboy är ju snygg ju!
Fru Rosa: Ja, det är han.
Jag: Och Irish?
Fru Rosa; Ja, han var ju ful som stryk, men de är ändå lite lika.
Jag: Hur kan ful som stryk och snygg vara lika?
Fru Rosa: Men det är mer typen än någonting annat. De är båda gossmän. Det är lite din typ tror jag.
Jag: Precis det brukar Emma säga.
Fru Rosa: Ja?
Jag: Ja, och sedan brukar hon flina och säga att det är därför vi aldrig kivats om en man.
Fru Rosa: Men det är ju bra.
Jag: Fast jag vet inte om jag vill ha gossmän som typ...
Fru Rosa: Jag tror inte du har något val hjärtat.

 Mazarine Street – Watch Me