Ruin me (if you dare)

"I miss you", she says as she takes a sip of her G&T.

Such a predictable drink, I have time to think to myself and then she reaches for my hand, but I flinch, causing her to do the same.

“Baby, those days are over, did you not see them pass?” My voice is soft, but relentless and I watch her shrink away further.

Her lipstick is red as usual, but there are deep shadows under her eyes these days and I wonder if it is hard for her to watch her own beauty slip away.

She used to be so vivid. She used to be so full of life and joie de vivre and I used to envy that she was the light, shining so bright in every room she entered. I would wake up to the squirrel wheel of everyday life, I would put on my hard hat and walk out the door and the image of her would keep me moving forward. The thought that this woman, in all her glory, had given me her heart so completely was intoxicating to me.

She is still a beauty. Capturing as many glances as ever, but her allure is fading in her own eyes and that makes all the difference.  

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?” She takes a sip of her drink and I can tell she is doing it out of nervousness, just to have something to do.

I have her in the palm of my hand, I could crush her with a slight movement of one finger and it is an exhilarating feeling.

I look at her, really look at her for the first time tonight. “Do you remember that time when we climbed that gate together?”

A smile lights up her face. “Yes, I do.”

It is clear from her expression that the moment was just as paramount to her as it was to me. She is pensive, waiting for what is next to come. The smile still lingers in her eyes and I decide to crush it because it simpler.

“I think that was the moment when I realised I didn't love you.”

She trembles and her face falls for a second. Then she surprises me and I suddenly remember why I did love her (and also why I just lied about it).

“Fine, but let’s order one more bottle before we go.”