Vision

I do love you. But I think it´s more about who I know you could be, but don´t have the strenght to be. Atleast not right now. I love how you always, always stand up for yourself. I love how simple things are for you. Because everything is black or white -- there are no shades. When I tell you someone is bothering me and you say: "Nina, just give me that wankers number. I´ll take care of it." I love how everything is bollox and salt of the earth and pints and faith. I love the intensity of your gaze and your perfect, perfect face. And your hands. (I could write a song about them.) Broken -- from fighting, broken -- from working. Still, soft as cotton, gentle as a breeze. I know you hate them, but to me they are the most beautiful hands I have ever seen. I love your mind and I love how you get me with one single glance. I love your flare for drama, I love that you never bore me and I love how you make me laugh so easily. I love how compatible we are and how I never have to ask what you are thinking -- I just read you like an open book. I love that there are always atleast two meanings to everything you say and I love that you are such a deadly romantic. I love that you always surprise me and how you leave me with plenty of space to breathe. I love your simplicity and your complexeties. So yeah, I do love you. But I think it´s more about who you aspire to be. Who you are capable of being if all the tragic circumstances could simply be erazed. In a heartbeat. I love you. But, I´m wise enough to know that sometimes the heart is not enough. And so are you. I think we both found out the hard way.

I wrote this long ago. Quite fitting that I should stumble across it exactly one year later. And you know what? I do love him. And yeah, he is so very right for me. But, that does´nt mean I don´t sometimes miss you.

Timo Räisänen – About You Now