Grace

I can´t believe all that has happened. I can´t believe where I am. I can´t believe that I got me here. I can´t believe what is actually my reality. I think it´s time to get that tatoo. To signify perhaps the most important time in my life. A time that turned everything upside down. A time that saw me flying and soaring. Broken and fallen. But always and forever.

Me.

Detektivbyrån – Om Du Möter Varg

Roll on!

Äntligen, äntligen fredag! Snart ska jag få åka tåg och sedan flygplan och sedan bil. Till ett hus, i en stad som är så gammal att den har en stadsmur från Romartiden. Till teaterförställningar och country roads och engelskt te. Men, framför allt, till en man som väljer att se mig, hela mig. Bara för att han helt enkelt inte kan låta bli. Och så är han så vacker att klockorna stannar! Så, jag kommer att vara lite osynlig ett tag framöver. Bara så ni vet.

Laters!

Vapour trail

You tell me that my hair changes color, switches shades -- depending on how much light goes through it. You tell me that there is bits of black in there. Bits of blonde and brown in the cascade of red. "I don´t think I will ever get bored with you", I say. And then your green eyes start to glitter. You smile through my screen and across an ocean. And I suddenly know that I´ve never been more right about anything in my life.

Salt of the earth

I´ve been here before, you know. Two times I think. But there is a difference. I really respect who you are. I really respect your heart. I really respect your mind. We are equals. Falling in love with a man with and open heart is just as headless as it should be. I´m still down on my knees. My head is still in the clouds. I´m still scared out of my wits, but I still can´t help myself. The differenting factor here. Regarding you. Is that I know already that I could love you. And that you are so worthy.

PJ Harvey – Hanging On The Wire

Airport rendevouz

Good lord, I can´t wait! Good lord, why is Friday taking so long? Good lord, this is driving me crazy! Good lord, can things really get more intense than this?

Thank you!

I think this is going to be fast. I think this is going to be one of those instances when "you just know". I think I already sort of love you. And after tonight, I´m pretty sure I´m not wrong.

Taylor Swift – Mine

Pet name

It was always wrong. When you called me sweetheart. (With the cutest Irish intonation.) It always made my stomach turn. When you referred to me as babe. (Again, with the intonation.) I could never figure out why. Always thought it might have something to do with him. (Although he never called me something as cliché as sweetheart.) I think I was wrong. I think it always had everything to do with you and only you.

Perfection

S: We are going to be apart for a while, so I wanted to ask you if you have any doubts? Is there anything we need to clear up before I go?
Jag: No. I always trust my stomach in these situations. It´s telling me that everything is just as it should be. Everything is right.
S: Your stomach?
Jag: Yes.
S: But Nina, what about your heart?

Matters of the heart

Så sitter vi där. Och glor mest på varandra genom Skype. Jag säger: "Perhaps we should sign off now. It´s getting late". Och så sitter vi kvar ändå. Och ler mot varandra genom bildrutor, över mil och hav och tidsförskjutning, och det känns hela vägen ner i magen att detta stämmer. Att detta är rätt. Du säger: "Nina, I should let you get to now." Och ja, det borde du. Svarar jag. Sedan sitter vi kvar och tittar på varandra och sedan tittar vi ännu lite mer. Och vet inte riktigt vad vi ska säga, för det här är så konstigt, så annorlunda. Det enda vi vet. Det enda som är helt säkert. Är att det känns som om vi aldrig vill slutat titta. Och jag kan inte riktigt sluta le.

Kära läsare

Ni verkar gilla English mycket mer än Irish. Och ja, i retrospekt kan jag verkligen förstå varför...

John Martyn – Cocaine

For you

I´ve found you. Finally. You are here. You are mine. We are it. Let´s not ever stop. Falling.

In love

Was it the fact that you brought me Nina Ricci perfume, just because it was called Nina? Was it the fact that you took me to the finest restaurant in town and watched me with a smile as I stole an Easter ornament from the table? Or, that you excitedly attempted to steal a paddle boat with me on the way home? That cake we had for breakfast, at the best cake place in town, while nervously eyeing our spoons, just because we were both too shy to say what we really wanted. Or, the way you kept placing your hand at the small of my back, gently brushing my black leather jacket and my heart at the same time. The beach café; where I knocked over a chair, because you made me so nervous I had trouble doing anything else. Then you shared a box of Reese’s with me on a park bench by the canal, spilled your heart on me and called it your favorite moment of the entire day. We walked through my city for hours, my hand in yours -- the touch of five gentle fingers leaving me wider, yet wider awake. Is this why? No, I don´t think so. It’s because, for some reason our hearts are in sync. It´s because, for some reason we fit eachother. It´s because, to me, you are the most beautiful person I´ve ever laid eyes on.

  

Alanis Morissette – In Praise Of The Vulnerable Man

Crush

The sky was very blue. The sun very bright and your eyes very green. I walked next to you. Indefinitely it seemed. We spoke about truth and nature. About science and convention. About religion and life. But all I could think about was wanting to hold your hand. I fretted and twisted in my mind. I tried to coax myself into being bold and brave, but failed miserably. Then you said: Nina, may I hold your hand? The sun kept on beaming. The sky was just as blue and your eyes even greener. Our conversation did not lose its flow and the topics remained interesting and fetching. But all I could think about. All that really mattered, was that my hand was now in yours. 

Takeoff

Sometimes something is just right. Just so. And, there is really nothing more to say, but: this could actually, actually be it!

Nick Drake – Northern Sky

Time. Now

Jesus, this is freaky weird. This is out of the box completely. This is a once in a lifetime experience. I´ve done freaky before. I made a vow to love a man forever, after knowing him only three months, then I moved a world away with him and made a new life. I met a man on a bus a million days ago. He asked me where the bus was going and that was it. I was nolonger one and neither was he. Then, one summer. I found myself suddenly challenged by intense green eyes, even though I should´nt have been. I turned my life upside down and when everything came back down it was exactly as it should be. And now. This evening. You are here. (After flying across many countries just to see me.) So freaky romantic. So much like what I want love to be. Tonight I´ll finally know where we´ll land.

Devendra Banhart – Angelika

Kaboom!

I morgon smäller det. Herrejösses, jag är inte riktigt redo tror jag...

That place

I wonder. What it will be like. I wonder. Who you are. I wonder. Who I am, in your eyes. I wonder. If I´ll be able to look at you without blushing. If I can manage to not look like a deer, caught in the headlights. If I can actually see you, without fear and without thoughts of all that never came to be. I wonder. Who we will be...

In my mind. We´ll be something like this.

Jesper Norda – Lets Go To A Place Infected With Truth And Resist With All Our Hearts

Circle, closing

Ok, this is getting more than a little strange. How can it be? That one road leads to the next, only so that you can see another? How can it be? That one point has to be made, just so you can appoach a different one, because you really, really have to get there. Again: Your sister. But this time, an aunt. Again: Irish. But this time, I. Again: An influence. A lifeline of the past. Someone who shaped and formed and dented. Someone with a similar language. Someone with similar words. Someone with a similar mind. And I. Left to wonder and marvel. At the world. At this life. At love.

Patricio Samuelsson – Hundra mil

Beyond time

So, I opened my eyes this morning. And my first thought was: "Ah, he already got up. Weird, he never gets up first." Then I realized that it´s been many months since you were actually here. In my apartment. And it felt ok. It felt right. Then I picked up my phone. You were in it. Once again...

Angus & Julia Stone – Paper Aeroplane

Question

Vem är du? Du som får min fantasi att gå i spinn och som inte följer mallen. Vem är du? Du som reser genom och över länder -- bara för att träffa mig en enda kväll. Vem är du? Du som vill följa med mig och se Madame Butterfly -- trots, eller kanske därför att, du vet att jag kommer att gråta på din axel. Vem är du? Som bygger modellplan och äger två motorcyklar och en motorbåt som går extra, extra fort. Vem är du? Som vet namnen på alla stjärnkonstellationer på himlavalvet. Som känner närvaron av stjärnor och svarta hål och som kombinerar alla motsägelser i boken. Vem är du? Som gör att jag är så full av frågor att jag är stum. Jag kan inte ens kan få ner dem i skrift längre, för jag har tappat min penna på golvet och jag når inte ner. Och, vem är jag. Efter att jag mött dig.

En annan eller densamma?

Boris Valdes Villarroel – Love Trouba